An ideal summer day would go like this: My dad plays music early in the morning. (My best friend Megan reports during sleepovers, she would hear this as early as 7 a.m.) I sleep in until 11 a.m. I go down to the pool, where my family already is—my mom reading on a chair; my dad using one of those bouncy balls you get for $2 at Target as a float. Lucy, my childhood dog, would lifeguard—as soon as I jump in, she barks as if she’s going to help (but she’s a solid 15 feet away). We get lunch at Mona Lisa in San Diego’s Little Italy or the Chinese restaurant in North Park that was there before North Park was whatever it is now. (Why did I see lines for bars and people throwing up on the street last time I was there, as if it’s Pacific Beach?) We stop at Vons to get a movie from Redbox, and my mom and I pick up ice cream. (She always got me Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked when I wasn’t with her.) Then I stay up until 3 a.m. (but go to bed before 3:23, of course—I’ve seen Insidious!) and get lost in a book the hours before. When I was little, I would later collect my Beanie Baby prize from the La Mesa Library—before it was remodeled!—for completing the summer reading challenge.

I can’t replicate this anymore. But I can read.

This week I read Come and Get It by Kiley Reid. By this week, I mean I started it on Wednesday, almost finished it on Wednesday, wanted to savor it further, but then finished it Thursday morning. The book’s tagline states it is “a fresh and provocative story about a residential assistant and her messy entanglement with a professor and three unruly students.” Provocative indeed! My favorite kind of book.

I was surprised to see it get lukewarm reviews. This was a reread, as I first read it when it came out in 2024, and I loved it more the second time around. Here’s the thing: I want character driven! I want unreliable narrators! I want an ensemble of characters! I want some (or any and all) to be unlikeable! I want an exploration of social dynamics and a climax in which all these unreliable narrators come together and act in ways I find unrelatable and morally wrong and, frankly, crazy!!!!

After I finished, I journaled about the book for 45 minutes and five pages. I then described the entire book, in order (a character-driven book btw), to husband of GRIEF AND MEDIA. This took over an hour. He said, and I quote, “Bro enjoyed the literature so much she voluntarily wrote a book report.”

If I were to receive a Beanie Baby for my achievements, I’d want it to be this one.

Other media I’ve been into lately:

• Love Island USA, obviously. I feel like a fairly early adopter; I started watching the UK series in 2018 when all my coworkers at E! News talked about it. I was immediately charmed by the British slang and earnest vulnerability and commitment to a cheeky bottom and heel combo. My favorite two seasons to this day are both the UK and USA’s season 6s. I find both had drama, yes, but mostly revolved around a group of people who wanted the best for one another. I’m cautiously optimistic that we’re getting that from this season. According to the internet, I’m supposed to hate Melanie. Well, no! She’s my favorite this season. I will never hate someone outward with their emotions! I also love Kayda (she sold me the second Ciara asked if anyone watches Summer House and she jumped up and down screaming) and KC. It’s a fun season so far, and I will revel in it.

• I’m also reading Lena Dunham’s Famesick, a decision I made in order to be part of a book club that hasn’t happened yet. I just want homework again, okay!!!! I am not the primary audience, because I haven’t watched Girls, but I do feel as though it speaks to me as someone who loves an em dash. Lena Dunham loves an em dash more than I thought possible, and I mean that complimentary. I’m maybe a third of the way through, but I love the way she writes. I haven’t listened to the Celebrity Memoir Book Club podcast before, but the host was a guest on a different podcast I listen to and said what makes a good memoir is vulnerability, entertainment, and if it makes the reader think. This rule is something I’ve apply to my own work since the moment I heard it, but I love interpreting art through this 15-second statement I heard on a podcast over a year ago. And Lena Dunham is making art.

GRIEF AND MEDIA updates:

My latest essay on aging is out: I, for one, would like to age! I had been sitting on this piece for a while, and I’m happy it’s out there now. I’m sure other 30-year-old women can relate (or maybe I just engage with this sort of content), but everything I see online has to do with being a 30 year old who is either SCARED OF AGING!!!! or FEELS EMPOWERED TO BE 30!!!! I guess I fall into the latter bucket, but I ultimately wish I didn’t care to act like 30 is a big deal at all.

I’ve also been doing my GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT videos. I am constantly worried I’m not doing a good job with them, but I think it’s because I care about them so much. My last two episodes are with the hosts of Mayhem on , Lily and Pancake.

I met them last fall when they took the class I taught at SFSU, and they each shared beautiful stories of loved ones in these videos that I had no idea about prior to recording. I’m so grateful that people want to share these sort of things with me and within my project.

That’s all from me this week. See you soon~~

Thank you for reading. If you liked this post, I’ve got more where that came from!!!! Subscribe for more writing and watch GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT on here or YouTube.

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On this episode, I am joined by Javier Martínez, aka Pancake, co-host of Mayhem on KSFS Radio. We discuss the loss of his uncle who was a professional Santa Claus, Lady Gaga’s Born This Way, feeling seen by media, and more.

GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT is directed & hosted by Alex Piscatelli and edited & filmed by Jack Molmud. Special thank you to Rasputin Music.

For writing, podcasts, and videos that explore the intersection of grief, relationships, media, and pop culture: subscribe to griefandmedia.com ★ follow on Instagram @griefandmedia ★ watch on YouTube @griefandmedia.

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I’ve been sitting on this essay for a couple months now, because I wanted it to be perfect and also I guess I was working on a thesis and anticipating the end of grad school and all of that. The time has finally come for me to talk about aging, because all fears surrounding it are entirely rooted in a fear of mortality. Which, fine!!!! Fearing death is normal; who doesn’t? But if we want to get less weird about grief, we have to get less weird about aging, too.

This fear is everywhere. The Cut seems to regularly share essays on how everyone is getting injections; influencers in their early 20s are posting TikToks bringing viewers alongside them to get ‘preventative botox’; this week’s premiere episode of Love Island USA season 8 had a contestant in their early 20s calling a 29-year-old contestant surprisingly baby-faced, as if being born in 1996 means you’re turning 60 this year. It’s overt, and it’s subtle, and it’s everywhere—in my own home, I look in the mirror and wonder if I'm too expressive in my forehead to keep up the facade that I’m not an unc yet or whatever.

It’s everywhere if you pay attention. Maybe as a 30-year-old woman, I’m supposed to pay attention.

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In the last year, Paige DeSorbo, of Giggly Squad and previous Summer House fame, announced on her podcast that she got botox. Despite my love for popular and celebrity culture, I am not someone who often feels particularly parasocial towards celebrities and influencers. However, some media formats require a certain level of encouraged parasociality for creators to build their following. Paige and her co-host Hannah Berner call their listeners the gigglers; when Paige announced her break up with Southern Charm’s Craig Conover, she announced it on the podcast, saying, “obviously I would come to the gigglers first,” and that she “would never cry on the internet, but, like, it’s okay if I cry on the pod.” This is strategic: She trusts the audience, so the audience can trust her. And I do, in ways. As a result, I trust her in a manner I don’t with other celebrities. Thinking about it critically, I decided I like listening to Paige because she reminds me of a family member. (I also feel this way about Survivor podcaster Rob Cesternino. It might be an Italian-American former-reality-star thing for me.) Perhaps that’s the point.

I distinctly remember watching a Giggly Squad clip on Instagram a year or two ago and thinking: Paige hasn’t gotten botox. Maybe I don’t need it either. Then Paige decided to get botox. Oh shit… am I going to need it in my early 30s too?

I found myself thinking about it more and more. Every time I looked in the mirror (which is often… I love a mirror!), it became an examination of how deep my (essentially nonexistent) wrinkles were. I did my skincare routine, morning and night, paying extra attention to moisturizing my neck and rubbing cream under my eyes. In this way, skincare shifts from a self-care ritual into a self-hatred, societal-appeasing drill—a drill done as my first task when I wake up and my final task before bed, defining the rest of my day as it is sandwiched in between.

This spring, Paige shared on her podcast that she doesn’t think she will get botox again. And, honestly, I felt a little relieved. I do not want to want botox; I suppose I am looking for permission from someone—society? Other women?—to not get it.

Yet I see the way commenters on social media react when someone questions botox: Who the fuck cares? Let women do what they want to do! I’m more interested in seeing what women succeed in than what they look like doing it.

Botox is so normalized for women specifically that people act like challenging it is anti-feminist. How have we gotten here?

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Anthropologist Ernest Becker, in his book The Denial of Death, discusses the concept of immortality projects, which allow us to evade our own mortality in some way. Think careers or children or art—these are projects we work on in life to distract us from our eventual death and to leave a legacy behind after we die.

What happens, then, when youth becomes an immortality project? Sure, looking in the mirror and seeing someone who looks, say, 27 instead of 32 will, in theory, create more distance between now and death. But what becomes this person’s legacy when they die? Wow, they weren’t young, but they sure looked it.

I think of people I know who died young, far too young, and the first thought is of their youth—that they had so much potential and so much more to experience. If we actually have experienced life, and actually have accomplished goals we hoped to accomplish, wouldn’t we want that to be what people say about us? Aging is not a bad thing; it’s, frankly, the point of life. It is a gift to experience life and to define what it means for us, immortality projects and all.

I last saw my mom when she was 67 and my dad when he was 61. I would love to see my parents age. If they were alive, my mom would be 71, and my dad would have just turned 74 in April. What would they look like at these ages? What would be my mom’s favorite book she read this year? What TV shows would my dad and I watch together? Where would my mom and I like to get coffee together? How would my dad want to celebrate his birthday week this year?

Who would they be if they had the opportunity to age even more?

I wish so badly I could see it. And I wish I had the opportunity to age alongside them. I imagine they had these thoughts about me; the ages they got to see me at were so special because they were so uniquely me at specific points in time. My age 8 was entirely different from my age 17, as was my age 25. If my mom got a glimpse of me now at 30, four years since she’s been here, I would hope I’m different; I want my face to reflect all that I’ve been through, all that I’ve gotten to experience.

This is not meant to criticize anyone who made the choice to get botox themselves. I have no idea how I’ll feel five, 10, 20 years from now, and societal pressure can be extra loud in an already impossible chase for immortality. This is more so a critique on the very real societal expectation on women to not age, that only rewards them when they never die. Impossible standards that none of us can ever meet.

Thank you for reading. If you liked this essay, please subscribe and share with a friend!

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On this episode, I am joined by Lily Altamirano, co-host of Mayhem on KSFS Radio and recent San Francisco State graduate. We discuss the loss of her childhood friend, Twenty One Pilots, Miley Cyrus (& Her Dead Petz), fan culture, and more.

GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT is directed & hosted by Alex Piscatelli and edited & filmed by Jack Molmud. Special thank you to Rasputin Music.

For writing, podcasts, and videos that explore the intersection of grief, relationships, media, and pop culture: subscribe to griefandmedia.com ★ follow on Instagram @griefandmedia ★ watch on YouTube @griefandmedia.

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I’m 30, btw! My birthday is May 18—the best day in the entire world and I’m not even just saying that because it’s mine—and on it I said goodbye to my 20s.

So far, I love being 30. I have a master’s degree, Regal Unlimited subscription (with Obsession presently being in theaters), and 8:30 sunsets. I never found the thought of crossing the 30 threshold to be scary—the Summer House cast are all there (plus, like, 15 years if you’re Kyle Cooke), and none of them seem particularly old to me. I feel good.

Because I graduated this month, my birthday month is officially JUNE 2026. I have no problem stealing from Geminis as I am one emotionally (Moon sign) and romantically (Venus sign). Feel free to wish me happy birthday daily as you see fit.

Perhaps it’s cliché to write 30 lessons I learned before I turned 30 or whatever, but when has the fear of being cliché ever stopped me before? I wrote this list a couple months ago while sipping a matcha, and I stand by most of it.

I present to you the 30 most important lessons you could ever read. (Lesson zero: Always hype yourself up!!!!)

1. It doesn’t matter if it’s 8 p.m. Drink the damn matcha!

2. Routines are good. For example, every night at 8 p.m., I drink the damn matcha.

3. If you cut your hair, you might regret it. But that’s okay. It’s better to regret than to never decide at all.

4. Don’t have regrets that are more consequential than a haircut. Accept that you made the best decision you could have with the information you had.

5. Always say yes to babysitting your nephew, a call with your sister, and dinner with your best friend.

6. If someone you know wrote a book, read it. If they started a business, buy something from it. If they’re in a play, go see it. I’m not even just talking friends, for which this support should be a given. If you know someone, and you like them, support the things they’re doing. You never know how it could encourage them; the world needs people pursuing things they’re passionate about.

7. In the god awful worst days of your life, don’t forget how to laugh. If you forget, watch Survivor season 29.

8. Don’t go to grad school! If you want to go, then sure, but write down five things you hope to gain from it and make sure at least two of those aren’t things you can get from something else. If you then decide to go, it’s exactly what you should be doing.

9. If you’re single, your priority in dating should be to have fun. If you’re in a relationship, your priority with your partner should be to have fun.

10. Delete Instagram off your phone.

11. Never be the smartest person in the room. If you are, it’s your responsibility to invite more people in.

12. My dad always said two out of 10 people are going to love you, two out of 10 people are going to hate you, and the other six can go either way. No matter what you do, you will always be loved, and you will always be hated.

13. Getting an espresso machine for your home is one of the best things money can buy. You will be changed, for good; sure, you will be caffeine dependent, but you will be grateful for slow mornings at the counter with a latte and your husband, or fast mornings during which you make a quick iced latte to go but are empowered to make it exactly how you like it.

14. Buy the salsa verde from Oceana Market. This may be too niche, but I do find it pertinent.

15. Talk to your mom and dad. Even if they’re dead.

16. Talk about your mom and dad. Especially if they’re dead.

17. Get a cat and tell her how much you love her. She will understand.

18. Read, go to the movies, listen to new music, and listen to podcasts—and don’t feel guilty for spending time with any of these artforms. These are often solitary activities, but there are thousands of people out there enjoying the exact same art that you are. It’s nice to do something alone in community.

19. Make art for yourself and not for the audience you think it’ll speak to. The best artists you’ve ever encountered created their art as an entirely selfish act. This is good. Art should be selfish.

20. If someone wants to talk to you about astrology, let them. It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe in it—you don’t have to. They’re likely trying to connect with you and understand the world around them.

21. If you know someone who is grieving, ask them how they’re doing.

22. Nostalgia is powerful—it’s our desire to connect with a past that is dead and gone. Nostalgia is grief. Reminisce, and bring the things you loved into the present once more.

23. Journal. If you have an excuse for why you aren’t able to journal on a particular day, journal about it.

24. Did you just see an advertisement for $1 oysters? Drop everything and order 20.

25. Friendship is not a game, and it is not a competition. If you’re always the first one reaching out to a friend, who cares? Reach out again if you have the urge to. If your friend is accomplishing something before you? Good! They deserve it, and it’s not about you.

26. People in Italy do not go out in their pajamas. This is a deeply American thing to do. I will not, for example, dress to the nines to sit on a flight, but in everyday life, I have noticed a strong correlation between looking good and feeling good.

27. Reach out to younger members of the family. Your little cousins shouldn’t have to reach out to you first.

28. People love you everywhere you’ve ever been. We can’t possibly contemplate the impact we’ve had on others. Whenever you feel compelled, tell someone what they mean to you.

29. If you’re loud, be loud. In happiness, in sorrow, in love, in grief. Shout all your emotions at the rooftops, even if it feels like no one could ever understand you. Someone, somewhere will understand.

30. Watch the sunset. The sun never changes; it always sets exactly like it should. Even as you change and get older, you will watch the sunset in the exact same way that you always have.

Thank you for reading. If you liked this essay, I’ve got more where that came from!!!! Subscribe for more writing and watch GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT on here or YouTube.

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On this episode, I am joined by Bay Area legend Stanley Roberts, host of KRON4’s People Behaving Badly. We filmed this on Mother’s Day, and he shares memories of his late mom and how Sam Cooke’s music brings him back in time.

GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT is directed & hosted by Alex Piscatelli and edited & filmed by Jack Molmud. Special thank you to Rasputin Music.

For writing, podcasts, and videos that explore the intersection of grief, relationships, media, and pop culture: subscribe to griefandmedia.com ★ follow on Instagram @griefandmedia ★ watch on YouTube @griefandmedia.

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I graduated from my Master’s program and turned 30 all in the last week. This is monumental. It’s all part of my Saturn return, of course. If you aren’t familiar, a Saturn return happens in your late 20s, and it’s when Saturn returns to the sign it was in when you were born, and it’s supposed to be when shit hits the fan. You figure out who you are or what path you’re supposed to go on. I think it’s just our way of putting a label on the tumultuous time that is going from emerging adulthood to just plain, ole adulthood. It’s true, I have arrived!

I think I’ve cracked the code on who I am and the path I’m supposed to go on. I spent most of my 20s trying to figure this out. I would ask everyone around me, “What should I do for a career?” and consult every personality test.

An astrologer once told me I need to be in a career that involves a lot of thinking and talking. My Myers-Briggs says I could be a musician or HR manager. My Enneagram says I could be an event planner or photographer. My Hogwarts house says I could be Voldemort or whatever. If these feel impersonal, it’s because they are. What could a test possibly tell me about what I should do?

Grad school was the first time I’ve been encouraged professionally to chase my particular talents and interests. This led to my thesis on teen drama fans and grief, three conference presentations, a paper I wrote for a journal with my undergrad mentor, two department awards, and the Distinguished Graduate Award at the university level. I love writing and teaching and researching and hosting and making zines. I think I’m really good at it all, too. But is this really that big of a surprise?

Luckily my mom and dad always told me I could do anything I wanted to do. So I've been unafraid to try things that interested me all along. I wrote a zine about a Webkinz frog when I was 7 for crying out loud!!!!

But it can be really scary to know if what you’re doing is right. There have been many times when I tried to grasp life with my hands and shake it and demand answers: Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? Am I making the right choices?

But the reason why I’ve never gotten answers is because I can’t grab life like it’s a Magic 8 Ball and get a simple solution. There are none to be had. I firmly believe things do not happen for a reason—this would be only advantageous for like five percent of the population if so; instead we have power to pick and choose and define what life looks like for us.

One of my favorite authors Emily Henry says she doesn't outline her books before she starts writing. She just gets to know her characters deeply and starts crafting the story starting from page one, surprising herself along the way. I'd like to think that's what life is. And the more you know your characters, or yourself, the better the story turns out.

It helps knowing I’m a Taurus sun in the 10th house ENFP Enneagram 7-with-an-8-wing Slytherin, but a personality test was never going to tell me what to do. But the more I know myself, the more I can trust in the story I'm creating.

Thank you for reading. If you liked this essay, please subscribe and share with a friend!

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This week I discuss graduating, turning 30, the biggest lessons I learned in my 20s, 13 Going on 30, and answer the following advice questions:

★ What do i do if my friend is in a bad relationship and they’re the one making it a bad relationship?

★ How do you work hard on something you’re passionate about if you’re tired?

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction/research segment

2. Music break [Headlines, 5 O’Clock]

3. Advice segment 1

4. Music break [Kiss]

5. Advice segment 2 and outro

6. Music break [Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

On this episode, I am joined by disability + media studies scholar and media archivist Bella Mayer! We discuss RAYE’s album THIS MUSIC MAY CONTAIN HOPE., the seasons of grief, soul, nostalgia, and more.

GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT is directed & hosted by Alex Piscatelli and edited & filmed by Jack Molmud. Special thank you to Rasputin Music.

For writing, podcasts, and videos that explore the intersection of grief, relationships, media, and pop culture: subscribe to griefandmedia.com ★ follow on Instagram @griefandmedia ★ watch on YouTube @griefandmedia.

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This week we had a very special guest: Bella Mayer! She is a disability and media studies scholar, media archivist, and one of my good friends. We discuss physical media and its importance, Survivor 50, grad school, mental health, and more.

If you need advice, ask questions for a future episode anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [The WhatsApp Shakespeare., Otaku Hot Girl, Let’s Stay Together, PINKY UP]

3. Research segment

4. Outro

5. Music break [bye]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

On this episode, I have my first guests: the incredible hosts , , and . We talk about Clairo’s Sling, SZA’s Normal Girl, Current Joys’ Wild Heart, coming of age, and more.

Find on Substack, Instagram @morenoisefm, and TikTok @morenoisefm.

moreNOISE

moreNOISE is a radio show and student collective hailing from San Francisco, CA established in 2025. We operate on KSFS Radio at San Francisco State University. Want moreNOISE? Have a listen.

GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT is directed & hosted by Alex Piscatelli and edited & filmed by Jack Molmud. Special thank you to Rasputin Music.

For writing, podcasts, and videos that explore the intersection of grief, relationships, media, and pop culture: subscribe to griefandmedia.com ★ follow on Instagram @griefandmedia ★ watch on YouTube @griefandmedia.

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This week I discuss defending my thesis (spoiler: I passed!!!!), graduating from my master’s degree, teen dramas (again LMAO), and answer the following advice question:

★ I moved out of my home region for some years and recently moved back. At times it feels like I moved back too soon or that I’m missing out on more places to live and travel. I know this isn’t fully true as I’ve grown a lot and appreciate living back in my home region. How do I cope with these feelings?

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Goodbye Henry., My Favorite Part]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over, Right There]

5. Advice segment and outro

6. Music break [How Deep Is Your Love]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

On this first episode, I discuss Megan Thee Stallion’s Traumazine and in particular the song Anxiety, the importance of grief literacy and how it serves as a framework for this series, and introduce our filming location Rasputin Music in Campbell.

GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT is directed & hosted by Alex Piscatelli and edited & filmed by Jack Molmud. Special thank you to Rasputin Music.

For writing, podcasts, and videos that explore the intersection of grief, relationships, media, and pop culture: subscribe to griefandmedia.com ★ follow on Instagram @griefandmedia ★ watch on YouTube @griefandmedia.

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This week we had a very special guest: husband of GRIEF AND MEDIA Jack Molmud! We discuss our anniversary (on 4/20), Netflix’s Something Very Bad is Going to Happen and its themes of relationship dynamics and mortality, and answer the following advice questions:

★ I’m feeling really torn about marriage and kids. The more books I read written by women the more it’s clear that basically most women throughout history regret getting married and having kids (even if they won’t say the words “I regret it” everything always gets way harder on the woman). Also you lose both your first and last name (“mom”, traditionally taking man’s last name) so like how can anyone agree to losing your whole identity when millions of women that came before us are a testament to the fact that it is most often a permanent downgrade in quality of life? But that being said I love kids I think they’re fantastic and I’d love to have some of my own and I love my boyfriend and I do see “forever” with him. So I’m losing it!!!!!!!!!!!! Help

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Late Night Talking]

3. Something Very Bad is Going to Happen segment

4. Music break [drop dead, My Place]

5. Advice segment and outro

6. Music break [Surf]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss my presentation at the Popular Culture Association conference, Justin Bieber’s Coachella performance, rejecting the concepts of “content” and “consumption,” what grief literacy is, and answer the following advice questions:

★ Hello Grief and Media! This is Justin from The Reading Podcast 😎 Like you, I love reality tv competitions like Survivor, Big Brother (RIP BBCanada 😭), Drag Race, etc. Since Survivor is so friendly now (Jeff Probst when I catch you…), I wanted to ask you what you think makes a good reality tv fight? (Bonus points if this is formatted in a very academic way but no worries)

★ How do you keep negative thoughts away when something really good is happening to you like a good job?

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Cherry]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Last Week in H Tx]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Advice segment 2 and outro

7. Music break [Tints, Me Against the Music]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

I love saying stay tuned. Like, stay tuned!! You may know what I have in store, or you may not, but you must turn on my channel and find out. I find you can use this in any setting. The fact that I’m graduating in May? Stay tuned. Will I text you back? Stay tuned. Am I going to have a cheese quesadilla for dinner again? Stay tuned.

Something in particular I want you to stay tuned about: I’m launching a video series! This is coming at the end of April. I've done lots of brainstorming and even held an all hands Zoom meeting with friends for more ideas, which was helpful but also something I did because I found it funny to do so. I’m super excited to share more about the series in just a few weeks.

Side note: I got a new digital camera. I had a shit unbranded one that was $25 on Amazon that I bought three years ago and had chocolate caked on it because it was sitting on the bottom of my bag, untouched, for the past year next to a dark chocolate peanut butter cup from Trader Joe’s that I similarly forgot about. This new one is much better—it’s a Kodak so I can say the Pitbull lyric picture that with a Kodak repeatedly when it’s in use—and I vow that better care will be taken of it and also that I’ll take more pictures in general. These vows have taken form under my own roof: first, I keep it on my desk looking cute. Second, I keep turning it on just to take a photo of Dory and then shut it back off. You can hear the noise—do do-do do!—of me turning it on loud and clear; luckily for me, this doesn’t make her run. I think Dory acts like she doesn’t but in fact likes the camera.

Media I’ve been into lately:

• Perhaps this is more of a third space than media itself, but movies and seeing them at a theater!!!! I have a Regal unlimited membership, and I’m not afraid to use it! (I am, actually, but I’ve been making it more of a priority.) I saw The Drama—which I’ll likely discuss on my next grief support group—and Project Hail Mary—which you’ll never hear me talk about again. (Rocky was cool!) I love media, obviously, and I love watching it in community.

• Big Brother. I was previously a watcher, but I’ve been getting back into it. I rewatched season 16, which I love for many reasons but especially “My sister is a mega, mega pop star.” “…Amanda?” and have moved onto Big Brother 18 for nostalgia reasons. I am constantly chasing the high of binge watching Survivor and Big Brother seasons on the papasan chair in my room knowing I’m safe and sound because my mom is in the next room over. The re-creation of this in 2026 isn’t perfect, but it’s something.

• I just started Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking as it was assigned in my death and dying class, and I absolutely love it so far. I’m kind of a fraud, because I love reading but I haven’t had too much exposure to some of the big names like Didion. She describes the moment in which she lost her husband in the very first chapters of the book, and she says, “I remember thinking that I needed to discuss this with John” (p. 16). I’m still at the very beginning, but I’m in awe at the ways she describes familiar feelings about loss.

No grief support group this week, but catch up on my latest show below. I talked about the Summer House drama, why we love unpacking celebrity culture, and my ‘dating a friend’s ex’ framework. The framework in particular I’m excited about—husband of GRIEF AND MEDIA told me I should make it into a zine. Don’t give me any ideas!!!! Or, should I say: stay tuned.

This is a month late, but I was also on recently and had lots of (more??) fun as always. We discussed the pop girls, including Ariana Grande because I can’t help myself.

moreNOISE

A moreNOISE Pop Girl Fest with Grief and Media's Alex Piscatelli

Welcome to what is now the largest episode in moreNOISE history by a grand total of 1 minute and 4 seconds. Joined by Alex Piscatelli of The GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT for the second time this season, we got carried away and made moreNOISE for a fantastic 2:26:40. Did you enjoy? If you did we’d like to remind you that we are scheduled for Tuesdays from 7:30-10 on KSFS Radio at becamedia.net/ks…

Listen now

4 months ago · 3 likes · m a s, isa, leslie castillo, Alex Piscatelli, and GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT

That’s all from me this week. See you soon~~

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This week I discuss the Ciara-Amanda-West Summer House scandal, our use of celebrity culture to make sense of our value systems, using teen dramas to interpret grief in real life, and answer the following advice questions:

★ Is it ever okay to date a friend’s ex?

★ my bf lost his mom in high school. he went through a lot of trauma related to this and the time after she passed but we haven’t talked about it much. we’ve been seeing each other for about 10 months now, i’ve been trying to be patient about letting him tell me things as he’s ready, not pushing or trying to force anything but I do want him to know he can talk to me about this heavy things, without forcing it, if that makes sense??

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [#GETITRIGHT, All For You]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Señorita]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Advice segment 2 and outro

7. Music break [What You Playin’ For, Lace and Leather]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss the misogyny on Survivor 50, my thesis update, watching teen dramas in emerging adulthood, and answer the following advice questions:

★ Would you ever invite an ex to wedding or is that just asking for drama?

★ Boyfriend casually mentioned on our third date that his dad passed away when he was in high school. A few dates later I told him I’d love to hear about his dad sometime if he wants to talk about him and he said he’d like that but we haven’t yet. It’s been three months and I don’t know how his dad passed, and we haven’t talked about it much at all.

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss bringing back the flip flop (it’s Spring after all!), Age of Attraction and why I will not be watching that shit, my thesis update, the appeal of teen dramas, and answer the following advice questions:

★ What’s the best way I can show up for a partner who just lost a parent?

★ Previous question asker. I told my boss I’m leaving the company but now feel sad I’m leaving the job i once hated. How do i mentally cleanse myself from this job and prepare for the new one.

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [16 CARRIAGES, Easier Said Than Done]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Fast Times]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [Don’t Mess With My Man]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [More Than A Woman]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss the power that comes with a 7:30 p.m. sunset, my thesis update and why fans understand grief through a character’s perspective (team Conrad stand UP!), Pet Sematary and the avoidance of death, and answer the following advice questions:

★ hiiiii i have a small college crush for the first time on my classmate but he is really busy and i def don’t want to ruin our friendship. i don’t want to read into things too much but also i love love and miss being flirty!!

★ mourning what could've been the outcome of the relationship vs mourning the actual relationship, and why the could've been evokes more emotion.

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Jet Black, Big Drank]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Met Him Last Night]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [Ungodly Hour]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [Lapdance]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!