On this episode, I am joined by disability + media studies scholar and media archivist Bella Mayer! We discuss RAYE’s album THIS MUSIC MAY CONTAIN HOPE., the seasons of grief, soul, nostalgia, and more.

GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT is directed & hosted by Alex Piscatelli and edited & filmed by Jack Molmud. Special thank you to Rasputin Music.

For writing, podcasts, and videos that explore the intersection of grief, relationships, media, and pop culture: subscribe to griefandmedia.com ★ follow on Instagram @griefandmedia ★ watch on YouTube @griefandmedia.

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This week we had a very special guest: Bella Mayer! She is a disability and media studies scholar, media archivist, and one of my good friends. We discuss physical media and its importance, Survivor 50, grad school, mental health, and more.

If you need advice, ask questions for a future episode anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [The WhatsApp Shakespeare., Otaku Hot Girl, Let’s Stay Together, PINKY UP]

3. Research segment

4. Outro

5. Music break [bye]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

On this episode, I have my first guests: the incredible hosts , , and . We talk about Clairo’s Sling, SZA’s Normal Girl, Current Joys’ Wild Heart, coming of age, and more.

Find on Substack, Instagram @morenoisefm, and TikTok @morenoisefm.

moreNOISE

moreNOISE is a radio show and student collective hailing from San Francisco, CA established in 2025. We operate on KSFS Radio at San Francisco State University. Want moreNOISE? Have a listen.

GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT is directed & hosted by Alex Piscatelli and edited & filmed by Jack Molmud. Special thank you to Rasputin Music.

For writing, podcasts, and videos that explore the intersection of grief, relationships, media, and pop culture: subscribe to griefandmedia.com ★ follow on Instagram @griefandmedia ★ watch on YouTube @griefandmedia.

Subscribe now

This week I discuss defending my thesis (spoiler: I passed!!!!), graduating from my master’s degree, teen dramas (again LMAO), and answer the following advice question:

★ I moved out of my home region for some years and recently moved back. At times it feels like I moved back too soon or that I’m missing out on more places to live and travel. I know this isn’t fully true as I’ve grown a lot and appreciate living back in my home region. How do I cope with these feelings?

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Goodbye Henry., My Favorite Part]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over, Right There]

5. Advice segment and outro

6. Music break [How Deep Is Your Love]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

On this first episode, I discuss Megan Thee Stallion’s Traumazine and in particular the song Anxiety, the importance of grief literacy and how it serves as a framework for this series, and introduce our filming location Rasputin Music in Campbell.

GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT is directed & hosted by Alex Piscatelli and edited & filmed by Jack Molmud. Special thank you to Rasputin Music.

For writing, podcasts, and videos that explore the intersection of grief, relationships, media, and pop culture: subscribe to griefandmedia.com ★ follow on Instagram @griefandmedia ★ watch on YouTube @griefandmedia.

Subscribe now

This week we had a very special guest: husband of GRIEF AND MEDIA Jack Molmud! We discuss our anniversary (on 4/20), Netflix’s Something Very Bad is Going to Happen and its themes of relationship dynamics and mortality, and answer the following advice questions:

★ I’m feeling really torn about marriage and kids. The more books I read written by women the more it’s clear that basically most women throughout history regret getting married and having kids (even if they won’t say the words “I regret it” everything always gets way harder on the woman). Also you lose both your first and last name (“mom”, traditionally taking man’s last name) so like how can anyone agree to losing your whole identity when millions of women that came before us are a testament to the fact that it is most often a permanent downgrade in quality of life? But that being said I love kids I think they’re fantastic and I’d love to have some of my own and I love my boyfriend and I do see “forever” with him. So I’m losing it!!!!!!!!!!!! Help

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Late Night Talking]

3. Something Very Bad is Going to Happen segment

4. Music break [drop dead, My Place]

5. Advice segment and outro

6. Music break [Surf]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss my presentation at the Popular Culture Association conference, Justin Bieber’s Coachella performance, rejecting the concepts of “content” and “consumption,” what grief literacy is, and answer the following advice questions:

★ Hello Grief and Media! This is Justin from The Reading Podcast 😎 Like you, I love reality tv competitions like Survivor, Big Brother (RIP BBCanada 😭), Drag Race, etc. Since Survivor is so friendly now (Jeff Probst when I catch you…), I wanted to ask you what you think makes a good reality tv fight? (Bonus points if this is formatted in a very academic way but no worries)

★ How do you keep negative thoughts away when something really good is happening to you like a good job?

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Cherry]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Last Week in H Tx]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Advice segment 2 and outro

7. Music break [Tints, Me Against the Music]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

I love saying stay tuned. Like, stay tuned!! You may know what I have in store, or you may not, but you must turn on my channel and find out. I find you can use this in any setting. The fact that I’m graduating in May? Stay tuned. Will I text you back? Stay tuned. Am I going to have a cheese quesadilla for dinner again? Stay tuned.

Something in particular I want you to stay tuned about: I’m launching a video series! This is coming at the end of April. I've done lots of brainstorming and even held an all hands Zoom meeting with friends for more ideas, which was helpful but also something I did because I found it funny to do so. I’m super excited to share more about the series in just a few weeks.

Side note: I got a new digital camera. I had a shit unbranded one that was $25 on Amazon that I bought three years ago and had chocolate caked on it because it was sitting on the bottom of my bag, untouched, for the past year next to a dark chocolate peanut butter cup from Trader Joe’s that I similarly forgot about. This new one is much better—it’s a Kodak so I can say the Pitbull lyric picture that with a Kodak repeatedly when it’s in use—and I vow that better care will be taken of it and also that I’ll take more pictures in general. These vows have taken form under my own roof: first, I keep it on my desk looking cute. Second, I keep turning it on just to take a photo of Dory and then shut it back off. You can hear the noise—do do-do do!—of me turning it on loud and clear; luckily for me, this doesn’t make her run. I think Dory acts like she doesn’t but in fact likes the camera.

Media I’ve been into lately:

• Perhaps this is more of a third space than media itself, but movies and seeing them at a theater!!!! I have a Regal unlimited membership, and I’m not afraid to use it! (I am, actually, but I’ve been making it more of a priority.) I saw The Drama—which I’ll likely discuss on my next grief support group—and Project Hail Mary—which you’ll never hear me talk about again. (Rocky was cool!) I love media, obviously, and I love watching it in community.

• Big Brother. I was previously a watcher, but I’ve been getting back into it. I rewatched season 16, which I love for many reasons but especially “My sister is a mega, mega pop star.” “…Amanda?” and have moved onto Big Brother 18 for nostalgia reasons. I am constantly chasing the high of binge watching Survivor and Big Brother seasons on the papasan chair in my room knowing I’m safe and sound because my mom is in the next room over. The re-creation of this in 2026 isn’t perfect, but it’s something.

• I just started Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking as it was assigned in my death and dying class, and I absolutely love it so far. I’m kind of a fraud, because I love reading but I haven’t had too much exposure to some of the big names like Didion. She describes the moment in which she lost her husband in the very first chapters of the book, and she says, “I remember thinking that I needed to discuss this with John” (p. 16). I’m still at the very beginning, but I’m in awe at the ways she describes familiar feelings about loss.

No grief support group this week, but catch up on my latest show below. I talked about the Summer House drama, why we love unpacking celebrity culture, and my ‘dating a friend’s ex’ framework. The framework in particular I’m excited about—husband of GRIEF AND MEDIA told me I should make it into a zine. Don’t give me any ideas!!!! Or, should I say: stay tuned.

This is a month late, but I was also on recently and had lots of (more??) fun as always. We discussed the pop girls, including Ariana Grande because I can’t help myself.

moreNOISE

A moreNOISE Pop Girl Fest with Grief and Media's Alex Piscatelli

Welcome to what is now the largest episode in moreNOISE history by a grand total of 1 minute and 4 seconds. Joined by Alex Piscatelli of The GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT for the second time this season, we got carried away and made moreNOISE for a fantastic 2:26:40. Did you enjoy? If you did we’d like to remind you that we are scheduled for Tuesdays from 7:30-10 on KSFS Radio at becamedia.net/ks…

Listen now

2 months ago · 3 likes · m a s, isa, leslie castillo, Alex Piscatelli, and GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT

That’s all from me this week. See you soon~~

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Thank you for reading. Please consider sharing the GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT with a friend. It would mean the world! <3

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This week I discuss the Ciara-Amanda-West Summer House scandal, our use of celebrity culture to make sense of our value systems, using teen dramas to interpret grief in real life, and answer the following advice questions:

★ Is it ever okay to date a friend’s ex?

★ my bf lost his mom in high school. he went through a lot of trauma related to this and the time after she passed but we haven’t talked about it much. we’ve been seeing each other for about 10 months now, i’ve been trying to be patient about letting him tell me things as he’s ready, not pushing or trying to force anything but I do want him to know he can talk to me about this heavy things, without forcing it, if that makes sense??

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [#GETITRIGHT, All For You]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Señorita]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Advice segment 2 and outro

7. Music break [What You Playin’ For, Lace and Leather]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss the misogyny on Survivor 50, my thesis update, watching teen dramas in emerging adulthood, and answer the following advice questions:

★ Would you ever invite an ex to wedding or is that just asking for drama?

★ Boyfriend casually mentioned on our third date that his dad passed away when he was in high school. A few dates later I told him I’d love to hear about his dad sometime if he wants to talk about him and he said he’d like that but we haven’t yet. It’s been three months and I don’t know how his dad passed, and we haven’t talked about it much at all.

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s this week’s playlist:

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss bringing back the flip flop (it’s Spring after all!), Age of Attraction and why I will not be watching that shit, my thesis update, the appeal of teen dramas, and answer the following advice questions:

★ What’s the best way I can show up for a partner who just lost a parent?

★ Previous question asker. I told my boss I’m leaving the company but now feel sad I’m leaving the job i once hated. How do i mentally cleanse myself from this job and prepare for the new one.

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [16 CARRIAGES, Easier Said Than Done]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Fast Times]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [Don’t Mess With My Man]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [More Than A Woman]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss the power that comes with a 7:30 p.m. sunset, my thesis update and why fans understand grief through a character’s perspective (team Conrad stand UP!), Pet Sematary and the avoidance of death, and answer the following advice questions:

★ hiiiii i have a small college crush for the first time on my classmate but he is really busy and i def don’t want to ruin our friendship. i don’t want to read into things too much but also i love love and miss being flirty!!

★ mourning what could've been the outcome of the relationship vs mourning the actual relationship, and why the could've been evokes more emotion.

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Jet Black, Big Drank]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Met Him Last Night]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [Ungodly Hour]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [Lapdance]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss combatting social anxiety, Survivor 50, the latest on my thesis, thoughts on the portrayal of grief + emotions in young adult books, and answer the following advice questions:

★ Why does being pursued romantically feel like being hunted for sport? Also why does pursuing someone romantically feel like hunting for sport. Why can't we just frolic in the field? [AND] Why pursuing someone feels like letting your intestines drag behind you unraveling inch by inch?

★ as i have become older and wiser i realize some of my longtime friends have friends I don’t like. I’ve tolerated these aqaintances for a long time but life is too short. I hear you become more of yourself as you age so maybe that’s why i dont like these friends of friends anymore… or am i obligated to like them at all?

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Perfect Places, Spin, Dance With Me]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [someone like u, Plastic Box]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [30°C]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [Frontin’]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss feeling misunderstood in my grief, needing $8 Chipotle right about now, the Survivor season 50 premiere, and answer the following advice questions:

★ I’ve finally become exclusive with somebody after like 5 years of failed talking stages and situationships. How do I not mess this up?

★ I’m about to leave a job that I’ve hated for the last two years but I’m getting cold feet about telling my boss that i’m leaving. How should I go about this and convince myself that it’s strictly business?

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [8 (feat. FLO), Brave New Girl]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Headlines]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [don’t wanna break up again]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [Cutie Pie, The Way You Move]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss my BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!, the Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model documentary, share research updates, and answer the following advice questions:

★ I met a guy through mutual acquaintances and thought he was cool. We followed each other on Instagram then I started to notice he was liking a bunch of reels of models and other women. What do you think about men publicly liking these types of posts?

★ How to deal with the death of a loved one when other loved ones don’t talk about them

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [San Francisco (You’ve Got Me), The Game of Love]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Funkytown]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [Choices (Yup)]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [Lose My Wife]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss Valentine’s Day being for friends and family, the book No Death, No Fear, The Summer I Turned Pretty and the symbol of the wave, and answer the following advice questions:

★ Should I kiss on the first date? Or when is it acceptable to do anything of the sort

★ How do you deal with the dating landscape when people weaponize or misuse therapy talk like avoidant, gaslight etc.? I don’t feel like many of these men are actually in therapy just that they know the right buzzwords

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [You Are The Sunshine Of My Life, Tití Me Preguntó]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [sweetener]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [Talk Remix, Mine]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [Hold Up]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss feeling in ~the unknown~, missing my mom, immortality projects, my thesis update (good!), and answer the following advice questions:

★ How do you have a roster while dating and move in the most considerate way? I haven’t had this many people wanting to take me on dates in a while and it feels greedy

★ How do I stay cordial with a classmate who lies about everything?

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Moody Girl, Yuck]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Next To You, Roaring 20s]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [Rule The World]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [Trampoline]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

Before I left for school today, I put one of those star pimple patches on a chin pimple I have. I find these pimple patches really unnecessary, but I love them. At points throughout my life when I’ve had really bad acne (PCOS problems!!) I couldn’t possibly imagine drawing attention to my skin in such a way. But now having just one zit to put a bright yellow star on top of—I love it. I haven’t worn one publicly before, mostly because I bought them and forgot about them, so I wasn’t sure if anyone would bring it up. No one did, until I was about to leave campus and someone told me I have a yellow star on my face. I told them thank you and that I knew, and they said they didn’t know if I knew. I’m obsessed with the thought of walking around with a yellow star on my face and not realizing it’s there—as though the endurance of this star on my face is the product of multiple people pretending it doesn’t exist, like everyone being too awkward to tell someone they have spinach in their teeth. I wonder if other people, especially professors, saw it and deliberately chose not to bring attention to it. I need to conduct a social experiment.

I listened to a Miranda Cosgrove song (Kissin U, obviously) on repeat on my way home from school. It’s sort of the pimple patch of my entire day. It would have been insane to listen to that song in the depths of my grief to make me feel better, but during a time like now where I’m overall fine, it’s kind of bright and unnecessary and fun. It sounds simplistic, but the presence of a star pimple patch and desire to listen to Kissin U on repeat gives me perspective. Their existence in my day means things could be a lot worse.

We’re now a month into 2026, which feels significant to myself in particular for many reasons I keep having heightened anxiety about. For one, I’m turning 30 this year. It’s not that I consider 30 to be old—in fact, I think 30 is younger than 27 if I think about it critically—but that I will be forced to say goodbye to being in my 20s perhaps before I’m ready. Second, I am graduating from my master’s program in May, which again, feels like it went too quickly for my own liking. Third, and most importantly, it is my Saturn return. I don’t feel like you all are talking about that to me enough.

In a way, all my anxieties surround the ideas of holy shit is life going by too fast and wait but what is next LMAO. My landlord in Maine once sent building residents a mass email that was no more than 200 words at the start of summer about the rules of having AC units in our apartments. He ended the email by saying, and I quote, “I know that this is a lot to process.” I still have the email in my inbox, and quote it like I’m quoting Clue or Legally Blonde, because it feels so serious in tone for something I ultimately found so inconsequential. But now I kind of get what landlord Chris meant. 2026, so far, is the year of knowing that this is a lot to process. And I will do it loudly, forcing everyone to process the inner workings of my next steps, or being 30, or my Saturn return alongside me.

I was a guest on this week! It was so fun to talk with and about Ariana Grande (too much), Lorelai’s outfits on Gilmore Girls (not enough), and Benson Boone (not much but far more than anyone else ever has). I hope you enjoy this show~~

moreNOISE

A moreNOISE Yap Session with Grief and Media's Alex Piscatelli

Right now we’re in a state of mind we want to be in like all the time. Joined by the one and only Alex Piscatelli of The GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT, moreNOISE DJs m a s and isa found time after class and yapped up an absolute storm. We were even lucky enough to get on the phone with Bay Area icon…

Listen now

3 months ago · 4 likes · m a s and isa

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Thank you for reading. Please consider sharing the GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT with a friend. It would mean the world! <3

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This week I discuss my mom’s death ‘anniversary’ this week, taking a class on death and dying, my new barrel pants (why is my ankle showing), The Traitors, and answer the following advice questions:

★ Honestly, I don’t even want a romantic partner right now. What I really want is a best friend. How do you find someone like this as an adult? I find this to be especially difficult given that everyone is busy with work, personal projects and their romantic relationships.

★ How do I support a parent who’s relying on alcohol because he lost a brother and a close cousin all in one month?

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [Lose Control, Tornado Warnings]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Show Me]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [In My Room]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [in my head, Midnight Sun]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!

This week I discuss 2026, the importance of physical media, how The Traitors normalizes conversations about death, and answer the following advice questions:

★ My boyfriend of two months recently broke things off because his ex from 1.5 years ago (who lives in another country but was like the love of his life) broke no contact and said everything he wanted to hear back when they broke up. He said he loves me (said for first time during the breakup…) and wants to stay with me but he’s too emotionally confused now and needs time to sort out his feelings on his own, so it might just be a temporary break depending on how that goes. I get he needs space to sort out his feelings and I think he handled things honestly and maturely considering the situation, but I’m struggling a lot with the uncertainty and if taking him back after all this would be a good idea. The relationship was 10/10 before this. Any wisdom is appreciated!

★ Supporting a partner in grief, specifically for holidays/times of the year that are harder for them ! Would you suggest trying to start new traditions? Do spontaneous things ? How can I include/ support his mom ? Excited for your thoughts and ideas!

Ask your advice questions anonymously here: bit.ly/ksfsadvice

Here’s the music I played this week:

If you want to play the music alongside the audio:

1. Introduction segment

2. Music break [I Just Might, Kitty Kat]

3. Research segment

4. Music break [Flip Flop, Knew Better / Forever Boy]

5. Advice segment 1

6. Music break [Got to Get You Into My Life]

7. Advice segment 2 and outro

8. Music break [Body Favors]

Listen live next time on Thursdays from 9-10:15 a.m. PST at ksfsmedia.net or by downloading the KSFS radio app. 🪩 See you there!