The physical manifestation of grief in Never Have I Ever and The Summer I Turned Pretty
A comparative aesthetic analysis about the portrayal of grief in coming-of-age shows. Welcome back to the GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT!
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Grief is the experience that follows a death, loss, or traumatic event. When someone experiences the death of a loved one, they face a reconstruction of their worldview, values, and identity (Neimeyer, 2001). For characters in coming-of-age shows, this is even more evident. The genre is already one that focuses on identity formation; when grief is part of their coming of age, these themes become intertwined. I am focusing on clips from Never Have I Ever and The Summer I Turned Pretty for my analysis. Both are shows in the teen television genre that depict and center its main characters’ grief journeys following parental loss. As such, their depictions have a lot of aesthetic choices in common. However, Never Have I Ever is a comedy, while The Summer I Turned Pretty is a romance and drama; this difference is on display in the chosen clips. I specifically chose clips from the shows that showcase the way grief affects the characters’ physical health. This was for two reasons. For one, since both shows explore grief in many different nuances and storylines, I found these two clips to be ones I could more easily compare as they were explicit symptoms the characters experienced. Secondly, because these clips showcased the physical symptoms of grief, I felt as though the aesthetics were more important and salient than the script itself for these particular moments.
Introduction to Never Have I Ever clip
Never Have I Ever centers main character Devi Vishwakumar: a 15-year-old girl who wants to shed her nerdy persona, become popular, and get her first boyfriend. The series follows her attempt at a normal high school experience while dealing with the grief following the death of her father. The scene I chose to analyze from Never Have I Ever comes from the pilot episode: the cold open of the entire series. After our initial introduction to Devi and her parents, we witness her playing the harp at a band performance when she hears commotion in the audience. It’s her father having a heart attack. The scene cuts from a medium shot of her reaction, shocked and devastated, to a close-up of her father’s portrait at his funeral. The camera quickly pans to Devi, with another medium shot; this time, her expression looks distraught and numb. The narrator, voiced by John McEnroe because of her father’s love for tennis, says: “Devi was devastated, but things were about to get even worse” (Kaling & Fisher, 2020, 2:33). It cuts to a new scene in which Devi is swimming at school. John McEnroe says, “A week later, Devi’s legs stop working” (Kaling & Fisher, 2020, 2:40). We see this perspective from her point of view, her legs unmoving under her in the water. Then we get close-ups of her in the water and atop it, struggling to swim and breathe. A new scene cuts in, with Devi and her mother at the doctor’s office. There’s a close-up shot of an x-ray of her legs, then the camera pans to another medium shot, this time of Devi and her mother, where she looks at her hoping there’s something her mother can say or do. John McEnroe says, “There was no medical reason why. But they were definitely not working” (Kaling & Fisher, 2020, 2:52). The scene once again quickly cuts to Devi in a wheelchair, which John McEnroe names in his voiceover. She is back at school, and the school principal announces to the class that Devi is “confined in a wheelchair,” which “does not make her any less human” (Kaling & Fisher, 2020, 3:04), to which we get another medium shot of Devi, side-eying the principal. The principal then quickly says, “As far as we know, it’s not contagious” (Kaling & Fisher, 2020, 3:06), with a long shot that showcases Devi, the principal, and over-the-shoulder shots of students in their seats, an angle meant to display Devi being othered. It cuts to one more medium shot of Devi, who looks embarrassed. These scenes all happen in a quick sequence. The length from the band concert where Devi’s father died to being introduced back to her class with her paralysis is only 45 seconds long. From there, we meet Devi’s best friends Fabiola and Eleanor. The shots switch between long and medium shots. Both of Devi’s best friends lower themselves so Devi’s head is above them—Fabiola bends down to below Devi’s eye level to talk to her, and Eleanor, being a dramatic theater kid, falls to the ground after announcing she won’t use her legs in solidarity (Kaling & Fisher, 2020, 3:30). These two actions are showcased in medium shots. Despite the height differences with Devi in her wheelchair, the points of view are never overtly adjusted to the “eye level and index vector” of each character (Zettl, 2017, p. 239). Instead, in the medium shots, Devi’s height difference isn’t obvious. Juxtaposed with the scene of the principal othering Devi, our immediate introduction to Devi’s best friends show them as compassionate, caring, and validating of her experience with grief. In the following scene, Devi is back at the pool, and John McEnroe says, “Aside from her friends, there is only one other person who could raise her spirits… and also, her heart rate. Paxton Hall-Yoshida, the hottest guy at Sherman Oaks High” (Kaling & Fisher, 2020, 3:37). Robyn’s Dancing on My Own plays as the scene switches between close-up and medium shots of Paxton (and his abs) and a close-up of Devi watching him. The last cut of this scene zooms from a long shot of Paxton walking by Devi to a close-up shot of her smiling as she watches him walk away. The final scene in my two minute clip shows Devi in her wheelchair outside of the grocery store while her mother loads the car with groceries. Devi sees Paxton with friends hanging out outside of the store, but her view of him is obstructed by cars. We get a quick glimpse of her point-of-view, a car obstructing most of the view with Paxton only visible from the top third, providing a chaotic, unbalanced screen space (Zettl, 2017). John McEnroe says, “...three months after Devi’s paralysis set in, Paxton’s chiseled face actually worked a miracle” (Kaling & Fisher, 2020, 4:07). There’s a medium shot of Devi looking at Paxton in her chair, then the camera follows Devi to stand with her, her expression happy and fully distracted by Paxton. A long shot reveals Devi standing, her mother screaming with glee, and they hug in a medium shot—with Devi’s expression no longer happy and distracted; now she is reminded of her grief and brought back to reality.
This two-minute-long clip serves as an introduction to Devi, the insurmountable loss of her father, her grief, her dynamic at school, her best friends, and her love interest and perhaps the only thing able to distract her from the depths of her grief. The introduction cuts many times, but the one constant throughout is that we continuously get a look at how Devi is feeling in any given moment through mostly medium shots, and some close-ups, that serve as punctuation at the end of each introduction. Devi’s father dies at her performance and she’s distraught; she sits at her father’s funeral, numb; she’s in the pool, and we intimately see she’s unable to move; she’s at the doctor’s office, confused and upset; she’s back at school, embarrassed, but comfortable with her friends; she’s around Paxton and smiling, the only times we see her smile throughout the clip; then she’s reminded of her grief once again even after being able to walk again.
Introduction to The Summer I Turned Pretty clip
In The Summer I Turned Pretty, Belly Conklin navigates a love triangle with brothers Conrad and Jeremiah Fisher. Belly and the Fisher boys spend every summer together with their families in a Cape Cod beach house. The show follows the kids’ coming of age, the love triangle, and how two families deal with the cancer diagnosis and eventual death of Conrad and Jeremiah’s mother Susannah. The clip I selected comes from the show’s second season, at the very end of the third episode and continues on in the beginning of the fourth episode. Susannah dies between the first and second season, and the second season follows the first summer after Susannah’s death, immediate grief of losing her, and attempts to keep the beach house that was co-owned by Susannah’s estranged sister who wants to sell it. Conrad, Jeremiah, Belly, Belly’s brother Steven, and Belly’s best friend Taylor are at the beach house watching a movie after a stressful day of trying to save the house. This is where my selected clip begins. Conrad begins to have a panic attack during the movie, then runs outside to the beach to be alone during this moment. We first see him start to look uncomfortable in a medium shot on the couch. He walks out, and Steven is the only one who notices. Then, in a long shot, we see Conrad walk onto the sand and towards the water. The scene cuts quickly between medium and close-up shots of Conrad, his hand to his chest, his breathing growing heavier. These quick cuts are between dynamic shots that play “tug of war” with one another (Zettl, 2017, p. 141); Conrad is on the right side of the screen, then the left, then center, increasing the dynamic energy of the sequence. There are a couple beats with a heartbeat-like sound. Between the heartbeat, his breathing, and the dynamic shots, we are “looking into” his panic attack which intensifies the scene and its impact on him (Zettl, 2017, p. 225). Steven asks if Conrad is okay. The perspective switches between medium and close-up shots of Conrad, long shots of Steven, and over-the-shoulder shots of Steven looking at Conrad. This effectively switches the perspective between Conrad and Steven; as a result, you’re feeling the weight of the panic attack from Conrad’s perspective while also seeing how badly it is impacting him from Steven’s perspective. Meanwhile, the use of long shots deliberately includes the ocean as a character in this scene. The ocean, loud and vast, represents the loneliness Conrad feels; he feels oceans away from the people around him. At this point in the clip, Conrad faces away from Steven and they are standing far apart, the use of long shots illustrating this. Conrad is a character that keeps his emotions to himself to be strong for everyone else, and this physical distance emphasizes his hesitancy to open up. Steven asks what he can do to help, and Conrad tells him to talk about anything. After a story about them growing up together, Steven asks Conrad if “you have these a lot?” (Han, 2023, 2:04). Conrad, in a close-up shot, nods yes, then says, “More since my mom died” (Han, 2023, 2:13). He turns to face Steven, and the two move closer together and shorten the distance between them. The rest of the scene and their conversation is played out in close-up, over-the-shoulder shots, alternating between Conrad and Steven’s perspective. As an audience, we’re still aware that they’re on the beach as we hear the waves crashing, but the ocean is no longer a character in the scene; instead it’s out of focus in the background. This signifies Conrad’s connection with Steven after opening up to him; he is no longer alone with the vastness of the ocean, but instead his emotions (represented by the loud waves) have community with Steven.
Looking into characters’ emotional states
Zettl (2017) states that looking into an event on screen gives viewers the opportunity to experience its intensity, communicating “its complexity and psychological implications” (p. 222). In the Never Have I Ever clip, we see medium shots of Devi’s emotions throughout each scene. This makes us privy to her feelings in a way the people around her may not be. Through shots of her emotions, we learn how shocking the death of her dad was for her, which characters to trust (her mother and best friends), and who serves as both love interest and distraction from her grief (Paxton). A quick introduction is given to her character in only two minutes, but she is the driver of this narrative despite these events happening to her; our understanding of these events is entirely told through her perspective.
Similarly, we see, look into, and feel the impact of Conrad’s panic attack in The Summer I Turned Pretty clip. His breathing and heartbeat are at points louder than the ocean itself, and his panic attack is impossible to ignore for both himself and the audience. Conrad is a character who appears stoic to those around him. As an audience, we get an exclusive look into the way Susannah’s death impacted him.
An interesting similarity between the two clips is that both include heartbeat as a symbol. For Conrad, this symbol is more obvious. He is having a panic attack and as such has no control over his heartbeat, the sound overpowering a few seconds of the scene. In Never Have I Ever, the heartbeat is more subtle. John McEnroe says Paxton is the only person who can raise both her spirits and heart rate as Robyn’s Dancing on My Own begins to play. I found it particularly notable that this song plays in this moment and serves as an introduction to the show. First, the song is about loneliness. In an interview, Robyn says:
“...it became impossible to not use that lyric—‘dancing on my own’—because it’s such a beautiful picture. People have so many expectations when they go out, so many wishes about what their night is going to be: if they’re going to meet that person, have a fun time with their friends, have a good high, hear good music. People get drunk and turn into themselves in a way, and they go to experience some kind of emotion. But it’s not always about fun… Even if I’m sad, dancing is a way to let stuff out” (Dombal, 2010).
Devi is grieving, but there’s still hope and nuance to the grief she’s experiencing. Robyn says she can dance even when sad; even if Devi’s grieving, she can have crushes, attempt gaining popularity, and have a normal high school experience. Secondly, the song is 117 beats per minute (BPM); CPR songs for chest compressions need to be between 100 and 120 BPM (American Red Cross, 2025). The song serves as a symbol of Devi’s heartbeat in the scene, beating out of control due to excitement, emphasizing the continuation of life after death. For both Devi and Conrad, the heartbeat juxtaposes the death they each faced and the grief that is now a part of them.
Both clips prioritize its characters’ emotions, yet do so with different time spent on each event, lighting choices, and uses of color.
Differences in pacing, lighting, and color
Never Have I Ever and The Summer I Turned Pretty most differ in the amount of time spent with the physical symptoms of grief. For Devi, her three-month paralysis is summed up in only two minutes. For Conrad, his panic attack is portrayed close to real time, with plenty of room to see both the escalation and come down of the event. This could be attributed to the difference in genre; Devi’s physical symptoms had to be told comedically, whereas Conrad’s were shown to deepen our understanding of and empathy for his character. Though this doesn’t diminish Devi’s symptoms as it highlights them as vital to her character introduction.
Lighting and color were distinctly different in each clip. For Never Have I Ever, the lighting is high-key and flat. Zettl (2017) says this type of lighting expresses energy and enthusiasm, even if through “pleasant superficiality” (p. 45). I disagree with this notion, as if this lighting separates the show from serious thought or discussion. If anything, the fact that Devi’s pain is still communicated despite the enthusiastic lighting makes its portrayal of grief even more powerful. Color is an important part of Never Have I Ever; partially because it follows generic conventions, and partially because Devi and her family’s identities as both Indian and Hindu are major parts of the show, meaning bright colors are present in their home. Even in the emotionally darkest parts of the show, its use of color stands out. When Devi’s father dies, both her mom and the stage curtains in the room are bright red. At his funeral, the guests are dressed in white clothing, surrounded by colorful flowers throughout the room, as red and white flowers frame his portrait. In all the subsequent scenes, Devi and her friends are in colorful clothing. The use of color throughout these clips and the show highlight the nuances of death; joy, color, and warmth can co-exist with grief and pain.
The Summer I Turned Pretty clip has low saturation and lighting only provided by the moon. Though the characters in this show similarly dress in bright colors, the colors are stripped from us in this clip so we must focus instead on what is happening. Zettl (2017) says our eyes “jump into action when it gets dark,” using dim moonlit lighting as an example (p. 54). Conrad’s panic attack and conversation with Steven all occur with only the moon lighting up the scene. This forces the audience to actively follow what’s happening in the clip. They aren’t able to casually view his grief; instead they must be active participants and diligently follow what Conrad’s experiencing in the moment. Between the moonlit scene and ocean in the background, the scene appears somewhat colorless (Zettl, 2017), with a bluish tint. The low saturation provides low energy to the scene, making us feel down (Zettl, 2017). The blue signifies loneliness, further signifying Conrad’s emotional state.
Both shows legitimize grief
Both shows legitimize the physical symptoms of grief by explicitly showing how it affects the characters. No matter the length of it, both shows have a moment where you take on Devi or Conrad’s point of view. For Devi, this moment is when she’s in the pool and looks down at her legs that have stopped working. For Conrad, this is at the height of his panic attack where his breathing and heartbeat take over.
It’s notable that both these scenes utilize water as part of their portrayal of grief. Water is a common symbol in coming-of-age stories. This is because water signifies birth. Consider this quote from Metamorphoses director Mary Zimmerman on the role of water in her show:
“Water has everything to do with change—in virtually every culture it’s a symbol of change. In Shakespeare … water is symbolic in terms of crossing a rubicon, and of transformation. In a lot of cultures it’s where you go to meet the gods, because they come out of water” (Gilbert, 2016).
Devi is submerged in water when her legs stop working. In this moment, her grief becomes even more real. It is not something that can be ignored or brushed aside, because it completely transforms the way she navigates the world moving forward. This was the scene immediately following her father’s funeral. While Conrad is not submerged in water, the symbol is one that persists throughout the show’s three seasons. His panic attack occurs near the ocean, as do many of the series’ pivotal scenes. Both Devi’s pool scene and Conrad’s panic attack scene effectively use dominant negative volume. Zettl (2017) describes negative volume as a way to depict isolation and loneliness. As they go through this pain, they are alone. Yet negative volume can suggest mobility (Zettl, 2017); Devi and Conrad endure transformation, and they have the power to adapt as grief becomes part of their lives.
Never Have I Ever and The Summer I Turned Pretty are two shows that are incredibly effective in their portrayal and representation of grief. Each shows’ portrayal fits its genre. In Never Have I Ever, grief is legitimized and normalized, yet done so in a way that adds humor and lightheartedness to Devi’s loss. Grief is nuanced and as such, also has moments of humor and levity. Since the chosen clip is from the beginning of the pilot episode that serves as an introduction, the scenes and her experience with paralysis move very quickly. However, this doesn’t take away from the effect they had on her; instead the quickness to the clips highlights the importance of these moments because it was crucial to showcase each of them in our introduction to Devi and her character. The Summer I Turned Pretty is a romance and drama, which provides a framework for Conrad’s panic attacks to be both fully fleshed out and emotional. The particular clip I chose was from the show’s second season, so we (as the audience) already had emotional investment in Conrad’s grief experience. As such, we didn’t need as much explanation on his thought process throughout the scene, unlike the constant medium shots of Devi’s expressions to define her emotional state. We could instead sit with the scene and his panic attack for longer. Both shows excel at portraying grief within their respective genres.
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References
American Red Cross. (2025, March 26). CPR Songs for Chest Compressions. Red Cross. https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/resources/articles/cpr-songs
Dombal, R. (2010, June 27). Interview: Robyn. Pitchfork. https://pitchfork.com/features/interview/7817-robyn/
Gilbert, S. (2016, December 26). And, Scene: Moonlight. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2016/12/the-power-of-water-in-moonlight/511547/
Han, J. (Executive Producer). (2022–2025). The Summer I Turned Pretty [TV series]. Amazon Studios; Jenny Kissed Me; wiip.
Kaling, M. & Fisher, L. (Executive Producers). (2020–2023). Never Have I Ever [TV series]. Universal Television.
Neimeyer, R. A. (2001). Meaning reconstruction and the experience of loss. American Psychological Association.
Zettl, H. (2017). Sight, sound, motion: Applied media aesthetics (8th edition). Cengage Learning.