This Week in Grief and Media: 4/22/24
Soffe shorts, my dad's 72nd (29th) birthday, Baby Reindeer and being a fire bender
Hi, and welcome to the first ever This Week in Grief and Media. I’m so excited for you to be here. If you’re reading this, you’re either subscribed to GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT via email, or you’re reading this on the site itself. If you haven’t already, subscribe to the newsletter; by doing so, you’ll get This Week in Grief and Media, plus essays and podcasts, sent directly to your email. It’s fun, because emailing is so back. This is also a belief I hold about Soffe shorts.
This past week was my dad’s birthday, my parents’ wedding anniversary and my wedding anniversary because I specifically copied my parents’ date of 4/20. Obviously.
Missing my parents during major milestones is easier when it happens in the spring, versus the cursed, cold, sunset-at-4:30 p.m. days of December and January (also when they both passed).
I loved reflecting on memories of my dad for his birthday. It’s been 10 years that I’ve celebrated his birthday without him here. He would be 72 this year, but he always told people he was 29—and that age makes a lot more sense to me for him than 72. He and I would celebrate our birthday weeks together every April and May. I deeply admire how much fun he made life, and in turn made the way I see life. A long drive with the windows down, dancing on a Saturday morning to the music blasting, a strawberry margarita on a sunny day, spending dedicated time creating art, sitting on the balcony with a cup of coffee—it’s all him. Anything I do as a means to relax or find joy is rooted in my dad’s philosophy on life.
Even this week, Jack (husband of GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT) and I went to Macy’s for him to get some clothes for work, and I was reminded of going to Macy’s with my dad to pick out clothes for him. Though he loved to wear a navy blue polo shirt and tan shorts most days—he said rich people wear the same outfits everyday.
I miss him, and I’d give anything to be able to grow up with him still here, but in many ways his presence is as strong as ever. He’s everywhere, and that’s never going to change as long as the sun stays shining and the earth keeps turning.
This newsletter came at a great time, because I genuinely watched the greatest television series I’ve ever seen this week. It’s called Baby Reindeer, and it’s on Netflix.
Written by and starring Richard Gadd, it’s about his “warped relationship with his female stalker and the impact it has on him as he is ultimately forced to face a deep, dark buried trauma.”
It’s based on a true story—Gadd’s true story—and it’s introspective and horrific and hard to watch and must-see television. Parts were difficult to get through, especially knowing it was Gadd’s actual life on display, but they were so necessary to understand his psyche and thought process and experience. I’m in awe by the way he unpacked and told his story. I love art that’s created as a means to reflect and heal—something I hope to do, or currently do, or whatever—and he did it so beautifully.
Here’s the trailer. (Sent from mmy iPhone)
ICYMI, I dropped my first essay: #1: Honestly, who am I? It’s all about identity following loss.
If you haven’t already, I hope you check out the media database. These are the links to the following sections: movies, tv, music, books and miscellaneous. If you have anything you’d like me to add to the database, please submit here.
This week, I’m highlighting Avatar: The Last Airbender. I’ve never seen it, but Jack insisted I add it to the database. In addition to its depiction of multiple types of loss, I’ve also been intrigued this week by the thought of which nation I would be in. Perhaps fire nation, with an air nation-rising? Only time (me actually finally watching the show) can tell.
That’s it for This Week in Grief and Media. Please consider sharing the GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT with a friend. It would mean the world! <3
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