This Week in Grief and Media: 5/13/24
my birthday week, attempting to be OK on Mother's Day and a briefing on the worst people you'll come to know (the Selling the OC cast)
If you’re reading this, it’s not too late to wish me a happy birthday week.
I’m turning 28 on Saturday, which means I’m entering one of my peaks in life. I’ve always had a feeling 28 to 32 would be really formative years for me—maybe it’s the Saturn return of it all—but I’m excited for the ways I’ll continue to grow and become so solidly me. I also always said I would write a memoir by the time I was 28, but I think that’s only because when I was 19 I thought 28 was middle aged. Regardless, I have a weekly newsletter. That’s a success in my book.
I’m writing this on Mother’s Day, which means I was sort of dreading writing this. I hate admitting Mother’s Day is hard, because every day without my mom is hard—but seeing people post their own moms, going to the store and seeing everyone buying flowers, it sucks.
I wonder if this holiday will be this difficult for the rest of my life, which makes me ponder what life will be like when I’m one day a mother. And then it makes me sad again, because my mom won’t be there for those experiences. And I think of the photos I found of her pregnant with me, photos she turned into postcards and sent to her own mom, evidence that at the end of the day, my mom was just a girl, just like me.
Losing parents young means you miss out on forming a relationship as an adult with them, and you never get to ask them what it was like for them to be 28—I was too busy growing up to ask when they were still alive. But my mom was once 28. She was once 27, and 29, and every age that I will be up until 67, and I’ll never get to ask her what it was like.
Sometimes there aren’t more words to say other than I miss her. Today is one of those days. When I started this newsletter, I subscribed both my mom and dad’s emails to it. So if there’s some dimension or veil that gives them the ability to read this, I’d like to say, mom, dad: I miss you, and I love you, and I’ll carry you with me through every stage in life.
Has anyone been watching Selling the OC on Netflix? It’s exactly like Selling Sunset, except it’s based in Orange County and it’s an entire cast full of Davinas. Every single individual is a horrible person. And I’m eating it up.
I’m only on season two episode one, but the first season was wild. (Season three just came out this month.) There’s a guy who has no boundaries with any woman in the office and is fully married; he said his greatest love is surfing… then his dog… then his wife. His aforementioned wife is Brittany Snow, mind you. They have since divorced, thank god for her. There are three women named Alex. All three are weirdos in very different ways. One of the Alexes put her mouth on Brittany Snow’s husband’s nose. Twice. I’m pretty sure every single person voted Trump and will do so again in November.
There are no winners. There are no root-able characters. Welcome to Orange County. (I’m sorry. I do actually like Irvine. I would always take a bathroom break on my drives between San Diego and LA at the Albertson’s on Jeffrey Road.)
In other media, I have been briefed by my team (Jack and Dory (husband and mascot of GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT)) on the Kendrick-Drake feud. I have no further comments, except for the “a minorrrrrrr” line really solidified Kendrick’s win.
I’m working on the podcast (coming this month!) and May’s essay, coming this week. It was inspired by crying at Party City. Just grief/girly things.
In the meantime, check out the media database—movies, tv, music, books and more. If you have any additions, submit them here.
I have not yet had a chance to watch this show (I’m feeling a bit too vulnerable to at this time), but after I already added it to the database, someone who doesn’t know about my database told me it changed their life. It’s called Six Feet Under.
If you have seen it, please let me know! I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.
That’s it for This Week in Grief and Media. Please consider sharing the GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT with a friend. It would mean the world! <3
Don’t forget to join the conversation in the comments or the subscriber chat! I’d love to hear about your week in grief and media.
