This Week in Grief and Media: 5/28/24

ballet flats, voice memos to my mom, The Strangers: Chapter 1 was so scary o_o and Glee>>>

I’ve been fascinated by ballet flats this week. Not so much so that I plan to wear them anytime soon, but enough that I think about them multiple times a day. Never say never, but I typically do prefer my shoes having anywhere from a 1.5-to-6-inch platform.

In fact, I’ve been thinking about them so much that I wrote something about them in my sleep. Here is my poem (not really) on ballet flats:

is anyone else not worried about stepping on a nail? if i step on a nail in ballet flats, it's going straight through the millimeter of sole and into my foot. i ultimately need a shoe with nail-proof protection.

I’m sharing this so you all know the unfortunate ways in which my mind works.

If I were to get a ballet flat, it would be something like this. But I’m not, okay? I’m not. But if I were… Photo: stevemadden.com

My incredible guest on this Thursday’s podcast episode is a fellow yapper who also lost her mom who is her best friend. I absolutely loved recording this episode, and I’m excited for everyone to hear it.

Because she, like me, called her mom multiple times a day, she gave me a tip that her therapist gave her: “call” mom by talking to her out loud via a voice memo.

I have a friend who talks out loud to loved ones they’ve lost, something I’m really jealous of because no matter how hard I try, I feel stupid talking out loud to my parents. My mom specifically told me to never stop talking to her, and yet my own fear of looking silly has prevented me from doing such.

But I paused writing this newsletter to pull up my Voice Memos app and get to recording. For the last 14 minutes and 51 seconds, I talked to my mom like it was a normal phone call we’ve done thousands of times before. Except this time I cried and told her how much I miss her and how deeply difficult it is and how much I can’t believe she’s not here, but I also gossiped a bit and told her about Selling the OC (they should be paying me at this point) and even, dare I say, laughed!?!?!? Part of it felt all too real—oh shit this is what we used to do but now you’re not here and it’s just me doing it and what now and oh my god I haven’t seen you in two years and how do I possibly go on and what-—while part of it felt entirely natural.

I’m still assessing the situation. I’ll report back.

I think I’m more afraid of this leaking than nudes btw

I understand that horror is not everyone’s cup of tea. But you all need to indulge me in this and keep reading. Please!

I saw The Strangers: Chapter 1 in theaters this week with husband of GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT Jack. First of all, one disagreement we always have is regarding what time to arrive to the movie theaters. Hear me out: If a show is starting at 12:30, I want to be walking up to buy my movie tickets at 12:30. No earlier. This gives me plenty of time to use the restroom once or twice (I’m a nervous pee-er), buy popcorn and leisurely stroll into the theater. At this point, I can find my seat and only have to sit through one or two previews before my movie begins. Yippeee! Unfortunately, this time, Jack got his way. He told me the movie started at 12:30. It started at 12:50. He claims this was by accident—I believe it was done both purposefully and with ill-intent. We took our seats before previews even began—instead, they were showing B2B commercials that I had no business seeing. As you can imagine, I was already very afraid.

To set the scene even further, I need you all to understand: I am currently unemployed. Jack works in TV news, so his weekends are Wednesdays and Thursdays. We were at a horror film on a Thursday at 12:50. We were the only ones in the whole theater.

So when the screen goes black, and menacing text reads, “According to the FBI, there are an estimated 1.4 million violent crimes in America each year.” Then telling us statistically seven of these crimes have occurred since we began watching, I almost felt my stomach flip like I was on that one boat ride at the fair.

You know the one. Photo: "Pirate Ship Ride" by daryl_mitchell licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

Anyway, the movie ended with a “To be continued…” and without explaining anything, because parts 2 and 3 are coming out in the next year. They got me. I will be there opening night, on a Friday night with plenty of people, mind you. Many people on Letterboxd and etc. are saying they hated it, but I thought it was great. So much so that Jack and I came home to watch YouTube videos about the franchise, scaring ourselves all over again in the process.

Even the act of screenshotting this has me shaking in my boots. Photo: Lionsgate Movies

I have some big updates this week!

ICYMI, I officially launched the GRIEF AND MEDIA podcast. I love the first two episodes, and I have some more wonderful ones coming down the pike. (It’s not “pipe,” btw. I found this out last year.)

There are two music-related episodes available for you, one on time traveling through past memories with loved ones via music, and the other looking at Ariana Grande’s music through a grief lens. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts by searching “GRIEF AND MEDIA.” Please let me know what you think!

I also dropped a new essay this week: #2: It's my 28th birthday, and I'll cry in Party City if I want to. I discuss growing up, the past, the future and my birthday (it never ends!!!!)

Someone filled out my database submission form this weekend, requesting I add Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist.

Not only did I add it, but I watched it, too, and I enjoyed it. I’m only an episode in, but I like how it’s fun and addresses grief/anticipatory grief. Also, it’s based in San Francisco! (The only con was when I voice-commanded my Firestick to play the show, it kept playing its playlist on Amazon Music instead. And its playlist is not good. Glee produced the only TV-show song covers I can truly get behind.)

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That’s it for This Week in Grief and Media. Please consider sharing the GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT with a friend. It would mean the world! <3

Don’t forget to join the conversation in the comments or the subscriber chat! I’d love to hear about your week in grief and media.