This Week in Grief and Media: 6/3/24
what we can learn from a soft launch, BAGGU sent me into a spiral, and the Lindsay and Carl of it all
Someone I know is currently in the process of soft-launching her new boyfriend, something that has fascinated and completely captivated me. I don’t know her that well, so she’s in that sort of section of my algorithm where I see some of her posts, but not all; her stories are ones I see after I’ve clicked “15 more minutes” on my app limits amid trying to work on my screen-time. (These warnings do not work. I pray one day I learn the power of self-restraint.)
As a human with a brain and love for drama I’m intrigued, but as a social media strategist by trade I’m hooked. Over the entire month of May, this person has been dropping little hints about her boyfriend—the corner of his shoe, his drink at a restaurant, his first initial—and providing a little more every week. I thought we got a photo of his right cheek and part of his mouth, but then I realized that was in my dream. This soft launch has infiltrated my psyche.
The excitement and build up of something can often be more exciting than the reveal itself. Am I going to care once she launches the boyfriend? No. But the Easter egging, the anticipation, the mystery—I know her engagement is boosted through it all.
Duolingo’s social media managers should watch out—they’ve got nothing on [insert her name here].
If you aren’t familiar with BAGGU, it’s this bag brand that’s sustainable and fun and has built a cult-like following. I recently bought a BAGGU bag because I love following trends, and I’m part of a BAGGU-enthusiasts Facebook group for reasons I can’t explain. (I wanted to see people style their BAGGU bags but instead I’ve unlocked a world of insider trading and BAGGU terminology and people who collect bags like people (me) used to collect Beanie Babies. I suppose this underground world excites me in ways only a soft launch has this month.)
A newb to the BAGGU world posted in the group asking how long their BAGGU bags last. Of course, everyone jumped in the comments talking about the longevity of these bags—they were made with sustainability in mind, of course—and how much they love them. Then I saw a comment from someone saying she bought her BAGGU bag in March 2022, so by her calculations it’s still going strong after 800-something days.
That comment stopped me in my tracks, considering my mom died that same year, on January 31. Which means it’s almost been 1,000 days without her. (Unlike the BAGGU person, I will not do the math here. But according to Google, it’s been 854 days since she died.)
Putting it in that perspective makes it seem so, so vast. That’s 854 days without talking to her—before this our longest span without talking was three days when I went on a cruise and refused to pay $40/day for wifi. 854 days without an opportunity to call her or hug her or watch a movie with her or go get sweet tea from McDonald’s with her or go on a walk with her or literally exist with the comfort of knowing she is existing on this planet, too. And one day, it won’t just be 854 days. It’ll be 1,000 and 2,000 and 10,000 and the number will never stop getting bigger no matter how hard I wish it would stop.
854 days. I guess I don’t know what else to do on this day but acknowledge it.
I finally finished Selling the OC. I didn’t ever want it to end, which prevented me from watching the season three finale for two weeks, but I finally did it. All I have to say is, I believe Sean. Why? I don’t really know. I just stand wherever Jarvis stands because she always defends the people I find least annoying at any given moment, though that’s not saying much.
I also caught up with the current season of Summer House, my favorite Bravo show. This week, we saw the Lindsay and Carl breakup, something I find a bit ludicrous. Is Carl really upset that Lindsay wasn’t supportive of him wanting to start a cigar business? It’s like, then use your words and tell her off camera, maybe. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Lindsay either. Like Jarvis, I find Paige’s opinions to be the ones I choose to hold, too. But Carl got in a relationship knowing Lindsay is wild and expects her to coddle him???? I wouldn’t even go to Lindsay for a warm hello.
Lindsay said Carl pulled a Scandoval on her, which is a crazy thing to say but I admire her commitment to the PR profession. But it’s so sinister that Carl called the camera crews, filmed their breakup, then said he went into that conversation not knowing he was going to break up with her. Maybe he should get a job in PR too.
Anyway, as prophet Paige said, this breakup was for the best for both of them. And I am locked in ready for the reunion.
ICYMI, I released episode three of the GRIEF AND MEDIA podcast: 'Gilmore Girls,' girlhood and losing our moms. I absolutely loved recording this episode and getting to talk about mother-daughter relationships with someone who also lost her mom who was her best friend. You can listen on Apple Podcasts, listen on Spotify or find it wherever you listen to podcasts by searching “GRIEF AND MEDIA.”
Also, next weekend is my best friend’s bachelorette party in Vegas, so I will be taking a week off from this newsletter in order to focus on my rendition of Espresso for our karaoke night. I’ll talk to you all in two weeks!
I watched Turtles All The Way Down on Max this weekend, because I finally got access to someone’s Max account. It’s a film adaptation of a John Green book. I hadn’t read this particular book when I was younger, but I thought this movie was great. It addressed grief and intrusive thoughts, and did so in a way I’ve personally never seen before. Media like this aimed for a younger audience is important, and I know I could have benefitted from seeing this at 17.
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