This Week in Grief and Media: 7/15/24
emotional rollercoasters, work work work work work work, saying "congrats hun," going to therapy by opening Hulu and watching Love Island
This was a big, historic week. A former president (not mine, but whatevs) was shot at, Serena and Kordell are back together on Love Island USA, and I used my credit card reward points to buy those Doc Marten fisherman shoes. The news never sleeps!
We’ve hit the trifecta of being concussed, being on my period and having anxiety from too much caffeine, so this is going to be a rollercoaster of a newsletter. Buckle up.
Oh, I’m straight up not doing well. I’m constantly like, “I miss my mom,” because what else is there to say?
Every time something comes up, I just want to tell her. Mom, I got a concussion. (She would be here and watching TV with me. And talking about Gypsy Rose Blanchard being pregnant.) Mom, I’m stressed about not having a job yet. (She would tell me it will all work out and listen as I talked about it endlessly.) Mom, I’m nervous how I’m going to make grad school and work work. (She would tell me it’ll all work out again. (So many ‘work’s in this paragraph. *insert Rihanna’s Work*))
It’s a lot.
It doesn’t help that, 1. I don’t have my mom to confide in, and 2. when I’m not doing well I sort of isolate from people. I’m always bad at replying to people, but it gets especially bad in times like these. And my lack of outreach to people has in the past been a catalyst for friendship breakups. And then I get frustrated with myself and etc, etc, etc.
I want to write about this more one day, but I knew someone who once tried to claim someone wasn’t grieving anymore because they posted about going to Vegas a month after their loved one died. I think about it so often, because the person who said this has no fucking idea. And I don’t think a lot of people have any fucking idea, until they experience it themselves. I’ve done a lot of things these past few years (Vegas included), but none of it is an indication that I’m okay.
I find when I’m not doing well, my ultimate comfort show is Love Island UK season six. I’m so sorry, because all I do is talk about Love Island, but I think there was something so special about this particular season.
It filmed and aired in early 2020, meaning the contestants left the villa in February 23, 2020, meaning the contestants left the villa and immediately had to start touching elbows instead of hugging, as if that was the antidote to COVID. If you think about it, nothing has been the same since Shaughna uttered, “Congrats, hun.”
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I’ve watched Love Island season six in some of my deepest moments of despair: summer of 2020, isolated at home and struggling with the state of the world; spring 2021, when my mom got diagnosed with cancer and my world turned completely upside down; winter 2022, shortly after my mom died and I couldn’t focus on anything but Siannise and Luke T’s love; and now? I don’t think I’m doing thaaat bad mentally (though idk, ask me retrospectively in a few months), but I know that there’s this season of this show that’s easy and comforting and warm to watch, so why not watch it?
This season had some drama, sure, but it was full of people who seemed to genuinely care about and root for each other. Watching it is a nice reminder of the good times to be had in the times of life that aren’t as hard; a reminder that even if there’s rainstorms this week, the forecast will have beautiful, sunny days ahead.
(Also, watching it from a 2024 lens, and I’m going to say it: I love Finn!!!!!)
ICYMI, my latest podcast episode is up: Can AI be used as a tool in grieving? I had on my mentor and friend Dr. Nate Rodriguez, associate director and professor at San Diego State’s School of Journalism and Media Studies. We talked all things AI and how it pertains to grief. After this discussion, I’m less anti-AI, which is crazy for me because I love talking shit about AI. Listen on Spotify, Apple, Substack or anywhere you listen to podcasts by searching “GRIEF AND MEDIA.” Oh, and please leave a review on your favorite podcast app to help with discoverability! <3
I think I’ve alluded to it before (or maybe flat out just said it? Idk, when you yap as much as I do you forget what you’ve said), but I will be starting to put out newsletters specifically for paid subscribers. These will be media-specific, deep dives into the media I can’t stop thinking about, through a grief lens. I’m working on a piece this week that I’m really, really excited to share.
A couple of you have already pledged to become paid subscribers (thank you so fucking much omg), and I’ll be turning on paid subscriptions the day I put out the first paid piece. If you’d like to pledge your subscription:
If you can’t afford it right now, I’ll have some comp subscription options for people who share the newsletter with a friend. Stay tuned!
That’s it for This Week in Grief and Media. Please consider sharing the GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT with a friend. It would mean the world! <3
Don’t forget to join the conversation in the comments! How was your week in grief? What media are you consuming this week? Are you in an entertaining Facebook group a la BAGGU Enthusiasts? Tell me all about it.