This Week in Grief and Media: 8/12/24
seeking: haters, getting terminated from AMC, putting Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds in the burn book
I officially hit 100 email subscribers today! And in a fun turn of events (me begging my Instagram followers to get me to 100 because I was one away) there are now more than 100 of you receiving this email right now. This is so fun. We should have a party.
I was recently thinking about what brought me to working on GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT. I know I give off a very cool, calm, chill demeanor (I’m lying here just for fun), but I put a lot of mental energy into the things I work on. I had newsletters for my family when I first joined AOL in elementary school; a movie review blog when I was 18; a memoir at 20, mostly an account of my first breakup; an anonymous dating blog shortly after; a few podcasts in college, and my favorite, Dating or at least trying, after college; and many, many more.
A couple years ago, I posted about wanting to start a particular newsletter, and someone commented sassily asking why I don’t just talk about what I want to talk about in my already existing few podcasts. I still think about that semi-frequently, wondering if people are tired of my shit, or my art, depending on who you ask. The thing is, though, I wouldn’t be writing this right now if it weren’t for the projects I created along the way. And I hope I have another couple hundred projects that that person has to keep seeing all over my social media.
The ultimate moral to the story is this: I’m glad there are slightly more than 100 of you. Thank you so much for being here. But I’d like a couple more haters, actually, to really fuel me.
I went to a hiring event for a coffee shop this week. It went really well, though bad job news after good interviews in the past prevents me from getting too excited. Because I am unfortunately a huge extrovert, I had a lot of energy after the fact; driving to the water and sitting in my car on my phone kind of energy (in a positive way). I called husband of GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT and my sister to tell them what happened. But, of course, there’s a couple someones missing.
My options in good moments are to either try not to think about the fact that I would be calling my mom right then and there, or to talk to her, I guess? I obviously chose option one. I know I’ve previously talked about attempts to talk to my mom via voice notes or just out loud, but I find it all too horrible and sad for my own personal preference. I prefer doing a weekly newsletter and essays and podcasts specifically about my grief. No answer is the right one.
My first job ever was at AMC Theatres at the Plaza Bonita Mall in National City. My first car was a 2002 Jeep Liberty that had 365,000 miles on it and broke down as I was driving it once, though that didn’t stop it somehow. But as a result, my parents wouldn’t let me drive it the 20 minutes to work, so my mom would usually take me. I would sometimes cry on the way there—I hated it, I hated it, I hated it. A month after my dad died, I was too scared to quit and just requested off the next few months on the computer system. Some manager tried calling me, which I ignored, then I saw I was terminated from the online system. Not my best moment, and I can’t even blame my grief on it because, really, I was just a stupid kid. But that previous August, my dad shared on Facebook a photo of me in my AMC uniform and said he was so excited for me to be starting my first job. I suppose I’d do it all over again if I got to celebrate a new job with my parents one more time.
One thing about me is that I retain pop culture information like a sponge. I can read something one single time, and I can pull it out at any given moment, even years in the future. This would make me an asset to any trivia team, but I’ve found trivia instead asks about topics I care less about, like geography or history. All this to say, I’ve been thinking a lot about the drama surrounding the It Ends With Us movie.
For those who don’t know, It Ends With Us is a book to screen adaptation that came to theaters this past weekend. The book is by Colleen Hoover, who has sort of been the queen of books that appear on BookTok. They’re easy to read and don’t really have any sort of deeper meaning—which, by the way, is totally okay. Of her books I’ve read, I liked It Ends With Us the best. It’s not the greatest, but at the end of it, she wrote about how important this story, about domestic violence, was for her to write because of her own mom’s history with domestic violence. If it’s not clear by my media database, I appreciate media that is inspired by someone’s real life.
The movie stars Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni and a few other people, including Jenny Slate, but they aren’t relevant to what I’m going to talk about. Justin Baldoni directed. Blake Lively is, of course, married to Ryan Reynolds, who I have previously publicly stated I don’t like. This is important to note, as Ryan Reynolds was apparently very involved in the making of the movie, even writing one of the scenes, and I had to think about him a lot while writing this, which I’ve hated to have to do.
People noticed that Justin Baldoni has not been doing press with the rest of the cast and Colleen Hoover. Justin has been unfollowed by Blake, Colleen, Jenny and more on Instagram. We have no idea what happened, but there’s something so particular that I personally can’t get over.
Justin has been, quite literally, the only person to talk about domestic violence on this press tour. Meanwhile, Colleen and Blake have been giving this a Barbie-esque rollout, focusing on the fashion and the flower aesthetic, even encouraging people to “grab your friends, wear your florals” when seeing the movie in theaters. Not to mention this stupid ass video of Ryan Reynolds, his mom and Hugh Jackman interviewing Blake’s love interest in the movie—I get annoyed every time I think about it. For a book about such a sensitive subject, especially one that was personal to Colleen Hoover, I’m surprised that Justin is the only one talking about the seriousness of the subject at hand. The title of the book and movie is literally about ending the cycle of abuse—I’m baffled that it’s become more about Deadpool and the promotion of Blake Lively’s hair brand.
Will I be seeing it in theaters? Yes, probably. Will I like it? Absolutely not! But these are the sacrifices I make to maintain my pop culture expertise.
I know I said a new podcast episode was coming last week but life (procrastination and my covid-booster side effects) got in the way. New episode is coming tomorrow!
And some new essays are on the horizon as well—I’m diligently rewatching The Summer I Turned Pretty for one of them. My craft is important to me! ~~Salt airrrr~~~ Btw, I am team Conrad through and through. I don’t care what anyone says.
That’s it for This Week in Grief and Media. Please consider sharing the GRIEF AND MEDIA PROJECT with a friend. It would mean the world! <3
Don’t forget to join the conversation in the comments! How was your week in grief? What media are you consuming this week? Are you in an entertaining Facebook group a la BAGGU Enthusiasts? Tell me all about it.
They're doing a disservice by not discussing domestic violence. Thank you for bringing this to the readers attention.